Long before Orlando became synonymous with theme park spectacle, the city had its own homegrown brand of organized chaos: the Queen Kumquat Sashay. Dreamed up in 1986 by Orlando Sentinel columnist Bob Morris, the irreverent procession was deliberately conceived as a comedic counterweight to the city's stately Citrus Bowl Parade.
The Sashay ran as part of the annual Light Up Orlando downtown festival, and despite — or because of — its gleeful absurdity, more than 20,000 people showed up on a weekday afternoon to watch it wind down Orange Avenue. Morris, who dubbed himself the Head 'Quat, organized the first event in just six weeks after a planning meeting that reportedly ran up a $334 bar tab.
The parade's roster leaned hard into Florida kitsch and local humor. Highlights included the Lake County Lawyers Briefcase Drill Team, a group of suited attorneys chanting 'we'll sue your mother,' alongside entries like the Grits Brigade, a Precision Plastic Flamingo Drill Team, and a grand marshal role filled by Longfellow — a deceased 2.49-inch cockroach and winner of a column contest.
The concept was directly inspired by Miami's King Mango Strut, a parody of the Orange Bowl Parade held annually in Coconut Grove. Morris adapted the spirit for Central Florida, with group names ranging from the politically pointed to the purely preposterous, and a stated requirement that all entries be family-friendly enough for his own kids to attend.
The Orlando Sentinel revisited this slice of local history as part of its 150th anniversary archival series.
